Horrible, Horrible Glee

This week, I'm cementing my position in at least the fourth circle of hell.

• I can't take credit for this list, but I wish I could: 50 Reasons No One Wants to Publish Your First Book, from Bookgasm. Especially numbers 6, 25 and 45. And 4, 5, and 50 deserve special mention as well. Mark this one with a star and hide it away to read at home, because it's so very, very NSFW. Tweeted by SmartBitches.
• You've heard of the Bulwer-Lytton award for bad writing, right? Seems they left out the Children's category this year. Fie upon you, gentlemen and ladies. Fie, I say! But never fear. From Cheryl Klein (by way of a Tweet from Gregory K. Pincus) comes this challenge to cook up your own awful children's writing. Can you compete with the utterly delicious submissions already in the comments?
• Well, okay, this one probably won't send me to hell, unless you believe that anything Harry-Potter-related consigns one to the flames. The blog Cake Wrecks marked the release of the Half-Blood Prince movie with a magical Sunday Sweets. I'm told there's some acrimony in the comments, but I just drooled over the cakes.
  
• Oh, lord, I almost forgot the TwiLOL. How did I survive before this existed in my life? (Answer: prty well akshuly.)